Denise Day Spencer

February 5, 2007

Holy Week drama: Barley Broth

Filed under: Creative Ministries — denisedayspencer @ 9:09 pm

The second of three Holy Week skits I’m posting from years past in our chapel services. This one is a four-man drama about the thieves who died with Jesus.

Barley Broth
By Denise Day Spencer

LUCIUS lies on the floor, center stage, sleeping. GUARD enters with SIMEON,
hands behind his back.

GUARD:    Hey! Wake up! You’ve got company! (roughly pushes SIMEON
into the room)

SIMEON:    (yelling after GUARD as he exits) I’ll remember you in my will!

LUCIUS:    (extending a hand) Welcome, I guess. I’m Lucius.

SIMEON:    (refusing to shake hands) I’m so happy for you.

LUCIUS:    (unsure what to do now) Do you…have a name?

SIMEON:    They say my mother called me “Simeon”…(bitterly) before she
threw me away. I’ve been called much worse.

LUCIUS:    I’m…I’m sorry.

SIMEON:     (glaring at him) Why?

LUCIUS:    I just…I don’t…(changing subject) What are you in for?

SIMEON:    I’m a thief.

LUCIUS:    (brightly) So am I!

SIMEON:    Is this supposed to make me happy?

LUCIUS:    Well…no…um…What did you steal?

SIMEON:    A sword.

LUCIUS:    Really? I took a–

SIMEON:    From a Roman soldier.

LUCIUS:    (taken aback) You’re kidding.

SIMEON:    I was going to kill him with it.

LUCIUS:    (can hardly believe this) Wow.

SIMEON:    You were saying?

LUCIUS:    Oh, uh…never mind.

GUARD:    (entering with two covered dishes on trya) Chow time! (sets tray
down in front of them, exits)

SIMEON:    (yelling after him) Hey! Come back for your tip! (looking at tray)
Ah. The infamous “last meal.”

LUCIUS:    I ordered roast pheasant, red wine and raisin cakes!

SIMEON:    (snickering) Go ahead. Uncover it.

LUCIUS:    (uncovering tray) It’s…watered-down barley broth.

SIMEON:    Let me guess. Just the same as yesterday, right?

LUCIUS:    And the day before.

SIMEON:    Well, you won’t be having it tomorrow, because tomorrow you’ll
be dead!

LUCIUS:    (pushing tray away) I wasn’t really hungry anyway.

SIMEON:    Don’t tell me the thought of crucifixion makes you squeamish.

LUCIUS:    (trying to change the subject) I hear they brought in another prisoner
last night.

SIMEON:    That’s right. They’re flogging him now. Maybe you can give your
barley broth to him.

LUCIUS:    (getting frightened) They’ll be coming for us soon.

SIMEON:    Let them come.

LUCIUS:    Aren’t you afraid?

SIMEON:    What’s the point? Only a man in his right mind would be afraid.
They all say I’m crazy.

LUCIUS:    (easing away from him) They do?

SIMEON:    And the other guy out there…He’s crazy too. Thinks he’s the Son
of God! He’s been roaming around the countryside for three years,
preaching. I heard them call him “Jesus.”

LUCIUS:    Jesus of Nazareth! I’ve heard of him! They’re going to crucify him?
What for?

SIMEON:    The Jews got him on blasphemy. The Romans got him on treason.

LUCIUS:    But what did he do?

SIMEON:    Who cares? The guy’s a nutcase. Put him out of his misery!

LUCIUS:    Don’t you have any compassion for anybody?

SIMEON:    Nobody’s ever had any for me.

LUCIUS:    Well…I care.

SIMEON:    How sweet.

LUCIUS:    O.K. Forget that. God cares!

SIMEON:    There is no God.

LUCIUS:    (alarmed) How can you say that?

SIMEON:    I said it! I’ll say it again! There is no God!

GUARD:    (enters dragging semiconscious JESUS and throwing him to the
ground) Have a nice rest, Your Majesty! (motions to SIMEON)
Come on. You’re next. (SIMEON rises and moves to doorway)

LUCIUS:    Simeon? (waits for SIMEON to turn toward him and then speaks
gently) What if you’re wrong? (SIMEON exits with GUARD)
(LUCIUS gently uses the hem of his robe to wipe JESUS’ brow)
Jesus? My name’s Lucius. Maybe you could drink some barley
broth? (lifts JESUS’ head and gives him a sip, then lets JESUS’
head rest in his lap and bows his own head)

The End

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