Denise Day Spencer

A recent conversation at our dinner table, after Michael brought food home from our school cafeteria:

MICHAEL: We’ve got plenty of food here. Have some peas!

DENISE: No, thanks. I don’t like peas.

MICHAEL: You don’t like peas?

DENISE: Think about it. In our 29 years of marriage, have you ever known me to cook peas?

MICHAEL: Sure. Um…back when we first married. You made peas with tuna!

DENISE: Peas with tuna? That sounds awful!

MICHAEL: It was in some kind of liquid…

DENISE: I don’t think so. I’ve never liked peas.

MICHAEL: Then why in the heck did I bring home so many peas!?

(Note: Michael didn’t eat the peas, either.)

What does your spouse still not know about you?

As I write, it’s the tail end of our school’s annual fall break. That means it’s almost time to go back to work. I keep telling myself that if I stayed off duty I’d eventually get bored. The truth is, I’m not so sure about that. But I don’t seem to ever have the time to find out!

We have had a lovely break. For some reason I enjoyed it even more than usual. After a delightful mini-vacation to Owensboro to visit my family, Michael and I went on to St. Meinrad monastery in St. Meinrad, Indiana for a one-night retreat. Everything about our stay was perfect. There was, however, a recurrent theme of…getting lost. Well, not lost, exactly. Just not being able to get where we needed to be. Read the rest of this entry »

Recently Michael, Clay and I took a day trip to the quaint little town of Berea. There we visited a used book store that a friend had introduced Michael to. (Thanks, Joel!) It was a delightful store–with no resemblance whatsoever to the hideous maze o’ books that nearly sucked us into its evil vortex in Columbus.

Every time I thought I was ready to leave, I recalled another author I wanted to search for. Finally the cashier rang up my purchases: The Hunchback of Notre Dame for $3, The Confessions of Nat Turner at $3 and Sue Grafton’s P is for Peril for $2. How’s that for eclectic taste? (And for shopping cheap!) Read the rest of this entry »

Have you ever tried to make an occasion really special for somebody else, only to be thwarted at every turn? That seems to happen to Michael more often than it should, and today was definitely one of those days. The occasion? Our 29th wedding anniversary. The other person? Me, of course. Read the rest of this entry »

A short while back, Michael and I each wrote an essay on one aspect of parenting. While we’ve been far from perfect parents (just ask our kids!) we wanted to share a couple of things we think we did right.

If parenting is important to you, you’re probably always on the lookout for folks who are, for the most part anyway, getting it right. I’ve had my eye on a particular family for some time, and I finally asked Mrs. Karen DeCarlo to grant me an interview. She graciously shared an hour of her time and much down-to-earth wisdom.

Regular readers of this blog have met Dr. Anthony DeCarlo before. His wife, Karen, is business manager for their chiropractic practice. (Dr. DeCarlo says, “It’s really her business. I’m just the guy who works here.”) Be that as it may, Mrs. DeCarlo is happy to be able to work very part-time hours so that she can spend most of her time with their two daughters. Allie and Sarah are 13 and 12, respectively. While the DeCarlo family is, admittedly, just now on the brink of the sometimes-dreaded teenage years, I’ve found them to be successful so far, particularly in one area that Michael and I agree is vitally important: intentional parenting.

If you’re a parent now or hope to be someday, this is well worth a read. And at least one of her responses may surprise you. Read the rest of this entry »

Michael asked me to write a bit more about parenting–specifically what we may have done right…or at least what we might have not done too wrong. First, I must agree with him that we feel tremendously blessed to be able to look at the young adults our children have become and to think that we have had at least a small part in their growing up. For the biggest influence upon them both has been God. We know that; I hope they do, too.

If I have to choose something to say, however, I’ve decided to talk more about…well…talking. You’ve probably heard about the importance of communication until you feel as if you can’t hear it any more. Yet it really is that foundational. Read the rest of this entry »

A recent conversation in our kitchen:

MICHAEL: You know what I’d like to have for our kitchen?

DENISE: What?

MICHAEL: A coffeemaker that you could make coffee in and it would stay hot. Then you could just go get a nice, steaming cup of coffee any time you wanted to.

DENISE: We’ve got a coffeemaker. Doesn’t it keep the coffee hot enough?

MICHAEL: Oh, I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about one of those metal ones.

DENISE: Metal?

MICHAEL: Yeah. Like the ones they use in the dining hall.

DENISE: Those are big, industrial-sized coffee dispensers!

MICHAEL: Well, we’d get a small one.

DENISE: Or…maybe you could just learn to make coffee!

MICHAEL: That’s too much trouble.

DENISE: You’d still have to make it in one of those other things! Why not just learn to make it any time you want in our coffeemaker?

MICHAEL: I don’t know what scoop to use. We have so many different measuring cups.

DENISE: The coffee scoop. It’s in the can of coffee.

MICHAEL: I wouldn’t know which end of it to use.

DENISE: There’s only one end.

MICHAEL: Well, I wouldn’t know how much water to put in.

DENISE: I’ve told you before. One coffee mug of water for each mug of coffee.

MICHAEL: But half of it gets steamed away!

DENISE: So you put in a little extra water to begin with.

MICHAEL: All that would take me 15 minutes that I don’t have.

DENISE: It takes about 30 seconds.

MICHAEL: It’s too much trouble. I just wish we had one of those metal things…

I think I’m figuring out which side of the gene pool made Noel decide being a sports fan would be too much work. (See the April 7, 2007 entry on Ryan’s blog)

Well, I survived my special day noting half a century of life so far. Everyone was very good to me. No depression yet. But I do find myself wondering, nontheless, what the coming years will hold.

I’m speaking, of course, about oatmeal. Read the rest of this entry »

My last essay was perceived by Michael as one that made fun of him. So it’s payback time. This time I’m going to make well-deserved fun of myself.

If there’s one thing I’ve learned about people in my nearly 50 years, it’s that different folks have different mindsets about things. For instance, there’s the question of now vs. later. Some people will buy it now even if they have to put it (whatever “it” is) on credit. Others prefer to save up so they can get it later and remain debt-free. Some will get it now on an impulse. Others want to make sure they really need it, or perhaps see if they can find it cheaper elsewhere.

This mentality applies to lesser things, too, like food. Read the rest of this entry »

Well, another turkey day has come and gone. We got to have all three kids (two kids and one kid-in-law) home for the holiday, and that was a real blessing.

A special treat for me was the fact that both Noel and Clay had decided on their own that the house must be decorated for Christmas while they were here. Noel, in particular, is a real go-getter where any sort of project is concerned. She made countless trips to the shed to haul in the Christmas trunk and all the boxes. She orchestrated the re-arranging of the furniture to accomodate the tree. She made Ryan and Clay hop to it and hoist a heavy chair down the hall to one of the bedrooms. She assembled the tree while I went for a carefree walk on the farm. (I ran into a friend of mine and told her, “The elves are decorating my house while I’m away!”) It was great.

Until the lights. Has anybody besides me noticed that nothing can darken the holiday mood quite like those twinkly little Christmas lights? Read the rest of this entry »